Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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