My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
