If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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