i wish starbucks made bloody marys
handjob tips. give me some.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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