ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
