my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
