Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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