Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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