vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize