Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My nipple is on Facebook.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you had me at cake vodka
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
