im gay
i know
yea but for you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
