Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
