I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
