your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
