Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ugly people sure do ruin things
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize