is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
