do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
