TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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