Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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