I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
