And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
