i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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