Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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