This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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