I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
