i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
