Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
whose parrot is this?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
