I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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