we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
