I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i dont even know how to be here
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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