I accidentally burped into my bong.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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