Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
