I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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