sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
