i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
