If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
