Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

How did that happen by accident?

(314): View more from Missouri

I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.

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(614): View more from Ohio

It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class

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(315): View more from New York

No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.

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