My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
