shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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