oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
