My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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