I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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