He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
