Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm sobbing to NWA
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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