well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
