Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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