I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
