So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
is that a dick in a sweater?
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