I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The adults are the big ones right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize