she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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