Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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