I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
