we have officially lost it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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