I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
