Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
