I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
