you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize