I smell stomach acid.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
