Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
